Flashes
by Lachriel
Summary: Buffy considers the past as her life nears its end.


Disclaimer: I own neither world that this story involves, nor the two main characters. The kids are all mine though. ^_^

            _I didn't think it would be like this. I'm not sure I really believed it would happen at all, despite the fact that it had before, despite what I'd been told of the past, despite what I've seen myself. I'm not entirely certain I believe it's happening now._

            "Wow, it's crowded in here. Mind if I join you?" she asked, sitting without waiting for a reply. Across from her the man's dark eyes – half amused, half annoyed – glanced about the room. Aside from the two of them and the barkeep, the place was deserted. She shrugged. "I'm waiting for some friends. You looked like you were waiting for something too and I figured we could wait together."

            "Or perhaps, I was sitting alone by choice, pondering the ramifications of my sordid past."

            "That _would_ explain the scowl-y face and antisocial-ness. But hey, now we can brood about the past together!"

            "What can you possibly have done?" He was definitely less amused now.

            "You'd be surprised. Name's Buffy Summers, by the way."

            "Severus Snape."

_            Gasping for air. Why can't I breathe? Why won't my lungs fill with air? Blood – bleeding so much. I can feel each drop leave me. I don't think anyone could survive this…. Not even me._

            "A professor? Like a teacher at a school? Meaning I'm on a date with someone relatively normal?"

            This American Muggle girl thought he was normal? "I'd hardly say that."

            "Relatively. Two of my last three boyfriends were vampires. The other was a soldier working undercover for a shady secret government organization. You're a teacher."

            "Vampires?" His surprise was evident in his voice. "And you're still alive?"

            "Yeah. 'Course, that story would kinda fall under the 'sordid past' category. Which you don't want to talk about."

            "Perhaps we should."

            "Perhaps," Buffy answered with a smile.

_            Darkness trying to close in around me. What a stupid way to die. After all the vampires and demons, the First Evil, the Final Battle – both of them – this is just dumb. A car accident._

            Snape stared in horror at his reflection the small wall mirror, or more specifically at the tiny bruise that stood out vividly against the pale skin of his throat.

            "I have to teach classes tomorrow." He tried to glare at Buffy's smirking reflection where she lounged languidly behind him. Mostly though, he just looked embarrassed. "What are my students going to think?"

            "That their favorite teacher's gettin' some?" Now he did turn and glare at her, grinning unrepentantly from across the room.

            "Which is none of their concern and definitely not something they should be thinking about during class. And I hardly think that any students outside my own house consider me their 'favorite' professor."

            "Mmm," Buffy stated, stretching like a particularly well contented cat. "Well, you're _my_ favorite. I don't find oh, say, that McGonagall woman even half so fascinating." He almost smiled at that, but not quite – just a faint twitch at the corner of his lips.

            She sighed and sat up, trying to straighten her hair and clothes. With the mood he was currently in, Buffy figured she probably wouldn't be getting more Sevvie smoochies in the immediate future. Deftly twisting her hair up, Buffy discovered she had no idea what had become of her hair clip. She didn't see it anywhere.

            "Buffy? Er – well…"

            "Do you see my clip?"

            "What?" Severus sounded a bit flustered.

            "My hair clip – to clip my hair up with?"

            "Oh. Er, yes." H pulled it out from between several stacks of books on a nearby table and handed it to her. "There was something I wanted to ask you. And…."

            "Mm-hm?" Buffy finished pulling back her hair and turned her attention back to Severus.

            "Well, Buffy, I – er, see, I love you. And I was wondering if…." Buffy suddenly noticed that Severus was kneeling in front of her. On one knee. With a small, black box in one hand. Her eyes widened in surprise.

_            I wish… I just wish…_

            "Buffy? Er… Will you marry me?" She threw her arms around his neck, laughing and crying and smiling all at once. She couldn't seem to put words together, but nodded vigorously. He returned her embrace and he was laughing too. Not too long afterward, Buffy had her own love bite to match the one she'd given Severus.

_I just want to see them again – before I die._

Buffy and Severus sat together at the staff table, chuckling at the confused speculation of the students and several of the teachers as well.

"Well, summer break's in two, three weeks, right? We could go then. That way –"Buffy broke off the whispered conversation as a small green ball of light squeezed underneath the doors of the great hall and zoomed toward her. She winced as it stopped over her head, dancing about excitedly. "Uh-oh."

"What is it?" Severus asked, poking it. The light flickered wildly at him as if scolding.

"A locator spell," she sighed, abandoning her breakfast and propping her chin up on her hand. "Prepare for the melodrama of the century."

"Wha-" Severus was cut short by the sound of the heavy double doors at the end of the hall slamming open. A tall, thin brunette stormed in, stalking down the center aisle between the tables until she stood glaring at Buffy.

"Buffy – _ANNE_ –" she paused a moment, unsure. But only for a moment. "_WHAT_ were you _THINKING_?"

"Hullo Dawnie."

"Don't you 'hello Dawnie' me after that letter! One paragraph. One! With _five_ sentences! Delivered by some sort of _BIRD_! 'Hi everyone. How's LA treatin' you guys? I'm engaged. We're getting married this weekend. We'll try to visit this summer so everyone can meet him.'"

Silence reigned in the great hall. Comprehension swept in a wave through the student body. And looks of surprise and confusion changed rapidly to disgust, shocked amazement, or disbelief.

"Hm. Maybe we should go talk about this."

"Ya'think?"

"Somewhere else."

"– Oh." Dawn suddenly realized her surroundings and the scene she had created.  It really had been quite impressive. "Um. Okay."

Buffy rose and Dawn followed her out a side door, Severus trailing after them. Chaos and noise erupted behind the trio just moments before the door was shut completely. "So, um. Dawn, this is my husband – Severus Snape. Sev, this is my sister Dawn Summers." 

Severus nodded at Dawn but didn't quite dare extend his hand in greeting. Judging from the way she was glaring at him she might just snap it off. Possibly literally if she was anything like her sister. Granted, he'd only _ever_ seen Buffy direct that particular look toward vampires, demons, and door-to-door salesmen.

"I see," Dawn stated in clipped tones. Then she turned her wrath on Buffy once more. "You informed me of this in a _group letter_ sent by an _owl_ and you expect me to be _okay_ with this?! An _OWL_. With _FEATHERS_!"

"Yes, Dawn. Owls have feathers."

"_THAT'S NOT THE POINT_!!!"

"No, I guess not," Buffy sighed. "It wasn't exactly something I expected. And it's not like I didn't tell you guys as soon as I found out. We just didn't think it was a good idea to wait. Please be nice to him." She hugged her younger sister in an attempt to calm her.

"Er, Buffy's told me quite a bit about you."

"How much is 'quite a bit' exactly?" Dawn asked suspiciously.

"Don't worry. I've left your secret out of it. So since you've both got secrets and all, I'll leave you two to get to know each other." Dawn suddenly glared at Severus again. In her experience, secrets were generally not a good thing. "Oh, and where's Willow at?"

"Willow? Back in LA. Why?"

"Oh. Then who did the locator spell?"

"I did," Dawn stated with a touch of pride. "Willow's been teaching me a bit."

"Oh. So you came to Scotland by yourself? Do Faith and the SC leaders know where you are?"

"Well, not exactly," Dawn said uncomfortably.

"To which one?" Buffy tried to appear stern. Which wasn't all that difficult seeing as Dawn seemed to feel guilty about something.

"Both?"

"Who came with you?"

"Angel," Dawn whispered so softly that Buffy could barely here it, even with her Slayer hearing.

"Oh no."

"Um. Yeah. He was kinda upset. The only reason he's not here at the moment is the sunlight."

"Oh no," Buffy repeated, as it seemed appropriate.

"Um. Yeah," Dawn replied a little sheepishly.

_I want to see them, hold them again. Dawn, all my friends who are so like family anyhow, Severus…my babies._

Severus peeked into the small, very pastel room to see Buffy nailing several small crosses in artistic patterns across the wall. These were only a few compared to the many already in the room.

"Don't you think there's enough?" Buffy paused as if she only now realized what she was doing and found it to be a trifle silly.

"I guess," she sighed. "I just can't seem to help it. Must be Slayer nesting instincts or something. Put crosses everywhere." She smiled as if she'd made a joke at her own expense. It changed to a real smile though when Severus moved to stand behind her, kissing the top of her head and tenderly rubbing her _very_ swollen belly as he thoughtfully admired the design she'd been creating.

"Couldn't we contact Angel or Willow and ask them to check the old Council's records? There might be something important we should know." Buffy's smile faltered.

"No, I don't think so."

"Why not?" Severus asked, completely mystified. It wasn't as if Buffy wasn't writing or communicating by floo powder with her LA friends every other day or so.

"I'm the longest living Slayer – Ever. Most were called around fourteen or fifteen. They never had a chance to…" Buffy trailed off, squeezing her eyes shut in sorrow at the thought of all those young women who had never been given a choice in their 'destiny,' who had never had the opportunity to find what she had now. Severus hugged her tightly, his thoughts now running along similar lines.

"It's all right now, love. Things are different now, better, because of you and your friends." Buffy nodded but still wore a despondent expression. "Have you given any more thought to names?" He asked, hoping to distract her. Thankfully, it worked.

"Yeah. We'll name him Severus." He was surprised and delighted. Frankly, the idea had never occurred to him. "But what if it's a girl?" he asked.

Buffy stopped, stumped. "I don't know. I have a feeling it's a boy though."

"Well if it _is_ a girl, we can name her after you."

"Buffy? What kind of a name is that?" she retorted, only half-joking.

"Hm… perhaps you're right," Severus said, smiling back at her. Buffy promptly swatted his arm with a nearby pillow. "Well, if you don't want to call the baby Buffy, we could always name her Elizabeth."

"Oh," Buffy's eyes widened a little. "That would work. I still think it's a boy though."

"What if it's twins?" he asked teasingly. Buffy suddenly looked panic-stricken. She pulled away from Severus and with great intensity began nailing up crosses again.

_My beautiful children. Please grow strong and follow the path of good that we've tried to help you find. Please listen to your father. I love you all._

Sev and Bethy were poking at each other good naturedly as the eleven-year-old twins waited for permission to go and mingle with their peers. "Fine," Buffy said at length, seeing that her last-minute warnings and instructions were going unheeded. "Go meet people. Make good friends. Your father and siblings and I will get your trunks onto the train." With a whoop Sev dashed off into the crowd, followed by his sister at a more dignified pace. Honestly, most times they acted completely the opposite of their namesakes. The rest of the time they rather resembled the infamous Weasely twins Fred and George. Though, that might have something to do with the fact that the red haired duo was heroes to the Snape twins. If ever they got lost in Diagon Alley, you could count on finding them at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes.

Severus chuckled as he pushed the cart toward the train, 'helped' by six-year-old Angel and her four-year-old brother William. The eight-year-old triplets – Willow, Alex, and Anya – followed him like a line of ducklings and kept in that line by the stern gazes of nine-year-old Joyce (who often went by Joy) and ten-year-old Rupert (who was often called Rip). Buffy shifted baby Kendra to her opposite side (even a Slayer's arm can fall asleep eventually) and called the gaggle of children over to her so that Severus could get the two trunks on board.

"I see you're trying to outdo the Weasly clan," said a warm voice off to her side.

"Charles!" Buffy turned and smiled at the red-haired man who stood just outside the ring of munchkins surrounding her. He winced.

"Only you, Buffy." Then he noticed the baby she held and smiled. "A new one? How old?"

"Only two months."

"This makes nine doesn't it?

"Ten. How's your brood doing?"

"Not quite so large. Only four so far, and getting into all sorts of mischief. There's a fifth on the way. Mum's ecstatic. The second one's off today. So what's this one's name?"

"Kendra," Buffy said quietly.

"Another one with memories attached?"

"You could say that. It's another story that won't be forgotten quite yet. Kendra was strong and controlled, absolutely amazing. Joy honey, grab Angel's hand. She's wandering off."

"You'll have to tell me these stories one of these days."

"Maybe." Buffy smiled to herself. Somehow the Slayers had managed to keep out of the eye of the magical community, despite the events surrounding the first Last Battle and the effect Willow's spell had had on them. A few knew (Dumbledore for example, who seemed to know everything) and Buffy intended to keep it that way. They didn't need any more outside interference.

Severus returned then, nodding to Charlie. They were on speaking terms, but were far from chummy despite the fact that Buffy and all the children were fast friends with every Weasly from Arthur and Molly clear on down to the newest baby in the family – Ronald's five-month-old son James.

"Hullo. I saw my oldest meeting up with the twins a bit back. With the three of them going into Hogwarts all at once, just be glad you aren't teaching anymore. I really do pity Malfoy." Draco had been another Death Eater-turned-spy, and had replaced Severus as Potions Master at Hogwarts when he's retired. One of the heroes of the Final Battle, or the 'Second Final Battle' as Buffy referred to it, was looked up to by most first year students – until they discovered how tough he was.

"Oh, I think he can handle it," Buffy said with a smirk. "Especially since he's got his wife there teaching Defense. I don't think your son would really want to face his 'Aunty Ginny' when she's upset with him."

_Look, a face above me in the dark. A little dim, but not one I would ever mistake._

Buffy had just gotten the twins to sleep. She and Severus had decided that a nice even dozen was plenty, so Faith and Dawn would be the last. It was just as well, because Buffy was about to have other problems to deal with.

Sev and Bethy walked into the kitchen where Buffy was trying to put together dinner for her large family. It was the twin's birthday today and she wanted to do something extra special for them. But she stopped everything when she saw her children.

Sev had his arms wrapped around his sister, supporting her. Fear and worry shone bright in his eyes. Beth was pale and shaking. "What happened? What's wrong?" But even as Buffy asked, her Slayer sense told her.

She sat heavily in a nearby chair, pulling Bethy onto her lap and holding her as she used to when she had been younger. Beth cried silently and Buffy found tears filling her own eyes. "My baby. My poor baby," she whispered over and over as Sev spilled out the story. Beth had gotten upset and hit one of the fence posts. Not one of the old wooden ones, but a newer metal one. It had broken. There was no way it should have. And Buffy just cried. Would all her daughters grow up to be Slayers?

_I hear him whisper my name, but I still can't be certain if this is real or some dream image brought on by the impending end of my life. I find I don't care._

Sev tumbled out of the fireplace in an undignified heap of soot-covered robes. Bethy managed to actually walk out, but then promptly tripped over her brother. Buffy came next, carrying baby Faith, and Severus came last with Dawn. The other children had been sent to stay with friends for an undisclosed period of time, with the exception of Kendra and William who were being watched by Molly Weasly. The twins managed to untangle themselves fairly quickly and the little troupe went in search of the people they had come to see.

"Willow! Aunty Dawn!" The twins rounded a corner and threw themselves at the two grownups.

"Hey Sev, Little B. What're the two of you doing here?"

"Faith!" they cried in unison, rushing to hug her as well. Their earlier scare had been forgotten in the face of an emergency trip to LA.

"Um, hi everyone," Buffy said as she also entered the room. "Beth's a Slayer." Silence fell over the three women as they exchanged 'looks' in place of the words they were unsure of.

"You said that before, Mum, and it doesn't make any more sense now than it did then." Beth's comment sent the room into chaos.

"You haven't told them? You haven't told them!"

"_B_!"

"What did you expect? She's _your_ daughter, after all."

"Mum, what are they so upset about?"

"Is something wrong with Beth?" Just then, Severus stepped up behind Buffy and the assembled group fell silent.

"Faith, Dawn, Willow." He greeted each with a nod. Then he solemnly handed off baby Dawn to her namesake and handed Buffy's armful to Faith. "No, we decided not to tell the children the stories behind their names until they were older. It seems that for some of them at least that time has come."

"We're named after you and Mum, right? Where's the story in that?" Sev asked in confusion.

"Well, yes. But each person that you and your siblings are named for have very special stories. What is it Beth?" Buffy had noticed her daughter growing fidgety and frequently glancing at the door behind them.

"I dunno Mum. It's just… It feels like…. I dunno," she finished softly. Buffy and Faith both focused their Slayer senses, trying to find what Beth had felt.

"It's just Angel, honey," Buffy said with a sigh of relief.

"But Mum, how do you know? And how can I feel –" She stopped short and stared as Angel appeared in the doorway. Her eyes widened in surprise as she realized that what she felt was indeed coming from her mother's friend. "Mummy? What's going on?"

"Beth, Buffy, Severus, Sev. We weren't expecting you. Is something wrong?"

"Well, not exactly wrong, I guess," Buffy admitted with a sigh. "But it's story-time, I think. And I guess I'd better be the one to start." Those that were standing quickly found seats in the small room, Beth sitting close beside her mother. "Beth, once things were different than they are now. You've been given a special destiny, but you won't have to carry it out alone. Once, there was only one Slayer. One girl in all the world, born to each generation, to fight the vampires and demons, and hold at bay the evil that was in the world…."

_I try to lift my hand, to touch his face and feel the familiar planes of it. I'm not sure it actually moves, but in my mind it does. He captures my hand in his own and kisses my fingertips as he whispers my name again. I try to answer him, but no sound will pass my lips._

"Love, I'm going into town to make a grocery run," Buffy called up the stairs. Severus poked his head out of the nursery and smiled. Buffy looked absolutely frazzled. They'd come home from LA to eight annoyed children. Why hadn't they been able to come along? Why were Sev and Beth still in LA? When could they go to LA? It wasn't fair!

The children were still upset, but the two parents had been unyielding. They would _not_ be joining their siblings in California, and the reason for the trip was not their business. The kids had reacted by moping about the house and getting into more trouble than usual. Not even the fact that they had spent an entire week with their friends seemed to help.

"Take as long as you need, Buffy. We'll be fine here." With a grateful grin, she practically danced out of the house.

Buffy had finally been able to get a drivers license, though it hadn't been easy. She couldn't apparate like her husband, so he'd insisted that she have some means of transportation when he wasn't around. The car wasn't much to look at, but ran well and was reinforced with some simple protection spells. Nothing major, because of the laws concerning magically tampering with Muggle artifacts, but enough to ease Severus's mind about his wife zooming around in the 'metal death trap.'

Smiling at the quiet and freedom, Buffy slid behind the wheel and started her car. Grocery shopping wasn't actually on her list of things to do right now. The house elves took care of that sort of thing. But a nice long drive…. That sounded nice. Backing out of the drive, Buffy headed off into the sunset.

_He lifts me up – it feels like I'm flying – and cradles me against him – he's so warm. Or maybe it's just that I'm so cold._

It was full dark now and Buffy was just beginning to think about turning home. She'd driven at random for the most part, but had also stopped at one or two local cemeteries to check up on the 'night life' in the area. She was out beyond the city limits now, pretty far from home in fact. Her attention wandered as she looked for a good place to turn around.

_He's apparated. He knows I don't like that. It sends my Slayer sense whirling, trying to catch up with the suddenly new surroundings. Makes me a bit dizzy.  I guess it's alright – this time. But still, it makes my head hurt. Or maybe that's the noise of people all around. This new place smells odd. It smells sad and in pain. There's a child crying off that way somewhere. I'm a little scared. And so tired. But I'm with Severus, so everything will be okay._

Something large darted out across the road. It was too quick for Buffy to identify, but she wasn't getting any bad vibes off of it. She instinctively slammed on her brakes, forgetting of one significant moment the light drizzling rain that had started a short while back.

Her tires slipped on the wet road, sending the car spinning. Patches of dark and deeper dark flashed by the windshield with occasional blurs of plan and tree lit up for an instant by the headlights. Buffy felt the car tilt, roll. The seatbelt snapped and she flew through the front of the car, slamming head-first into a tree. A large black dog peered at her from the road for a moment before turning and trotting away.

Buffy lay still in the dark and the rain. She soon realized her situation. She was alone – and dying. And her thoughts began to wander over her past.

_I'm with Severus. Everything will be okay._

Things had moved quickly. Protective charms placed on their wedding bands had told Severus of his wife's condition, and of her location. He'd left the younger children in the care of Rupert and rushed to her side as quickly as possible. He could hardly apparate there, as he was unfamiliar with the spot. But a broom with an invisibility charm to hide from Muggle eyes worked quite well.

There she was. Buffy – his beautiful Buffy – lay next a tree on the side of the road. The car (he'd never fully trusted the Muggle contraption) was little better than a crumpled heap of metal. He scooped up his wife and apparated to St. Mungo's emergency room, where the severity of her condition gained them almost immediate attention.

Soon she was as stable as the medical staff could make her. They were situated in a small, but thankfully empty, room. Buffy was pale and silent, save for the ragged sound of her labored breathing. Severus held her cold hand in his own, intently watching her face.

He silently prayed for some flicker of life there – for the eyes to open, for the lips to smile – and fearfully knew the likelihood of those things never happening again. He tenderly brushed a stray lock of hair away from her face.

"Everything will be alright," he whispered, to reassure himself as much as her. "I'm here – we're together. Everything will be alright."


End file.
